How to combat lonliness

We humans have a compelling need to be social. We need close relationships in our lives—so when we feel disconnected or isolated from the people we love, the result is the troubling state we call loneliness. For some, loneliness is a frequent annoyance, but for others, it is a painful, even debilitating condition.
Fortunately, loneliness isn’t inevitable. If you want to combat loneliness and invite more affection and intimacy into your life, these six tips can help. 

 

1.   Avoid toxic affection

Some of us are so hungry for love that we are willing to accept it in any form, even when it comes with strings attached. Conditional love what I call toxic affection isn’t genuine, and actually stands in the way of true intimacy. An important part of decreasing loneliness, therefore, is actually refusing offers of affection that come with unwanted obligations. 

2.   Be open to intimacy 

One way to encourage more affection and intimacy from others is to express more ourselves yet many people avoid doing so out of fear. We might hold back because we fear being hurt, for instance, or we worry that others won’t love us as much as we love them. To combat loneliness, identify our fears and then reframe them so that you see affection as an opportunity rather than a risk.

3.   Invite, rather than demand

When we want others to be more affectionate with us, it may seem most straightforward simply to demand it, such as by saying “I need you to start telling me you love me more often.” Although that tactic may be efficient, it is rarely effective, because it fails to consider why the person is unaffectionate in the first place. A more effective alternative is to invite and encourage intimacy in ways that feel natural to the other person. It also helps to let the person see you being affectionate with others.

4.   Acknowledge the affection you already receive 

One reason people feel lonely is that they look for intimacy only in certain forms. Thus, they fail to recognize expressions of affection they are already receiving. A woman may feel lonely because her husband doesn’t say “I love you” as often as she wants, yet she may not recognize that he expresses his love in many instrumental ways, such as by taking care of household needs. Even if she longs for more expressive forms of intimacy, she can combat her loneliness by acknowledging gestures of affection that she currently overlooks.

5.   Nurture affection from a variety of sources

 It’s easy to pin all our hopes and expectations for love on a single target, such as a spouse, but no one person is capable of meeting all our social needs. While we might encourage more intimacy within a particular relationship, we can also combat our loneliness by opening ourselves up to a wider range of close connections.

6.   Keep your expectations optimistic but realistic

For many of us, loneliness isn’t the kind of problem we can resolve overnight. It takes sustained effort, and not every tactic will be successful. When working to develop closer, more affectionate relationships, it helps to stay optimistic and recognize that change is possible. Nonetheless, it is also important to be realistic and acknowledge when a change in strategy is warranted [button size="large" color="blue" src="http://www.djmedite.com"] Download [/button].